Punjabis are known all over India as large-hearted cheerful people who live their life joyously and vigorously. We people believe in enjoying every single moment of our lives. No doubt then that our marriage ceremonies are one big carnival of gaiety and jubilation :)
It was my sister's wedding recently and the whole week of festivities made me ponder about the significance of these rituals.. Some I knew and others I had to find out.. Marriages are elaborate affairs for us and we follow the usual Hindu marriage rites like those of Pheras and Kanyadan. Other merry-making rituals like Ladies Sangeet and Juta Chupai (which by the way, got immense popularity after Hum Aapke Hain Kaun) also abound :)
Once the match has been decided between a boy and a girl, the galore of ceremonies begins. A date is fixed for the 'Roka' ceremony which is sort of a formal announcement that the match has been finalized. An auspicious time is fixed by a pundit ji and the families of both sides, assemble at the girl's house or at some neutral venue. Roka signifies that the boy and the girl are affianced to each other and an auspicious day for the marriage is generally fixed after the ceremony is over.
After Roka, the next important ceremony is called 'Shagan' which is the confirmation of the Engagement. The idea is to have all the relatives of both the sides who could not attend the Roka ceremony present at the same place so that they can interact with each other. Shagan generally takes place at the boy's house or as nowadays at some venue outside.
On this occasion, the girl's family applies tikka or tilak on the boy's forehead and shower him with gifts and blessings. The groom's family similarly returns the favor by gifting the bride-to-be's family members especially the brothers.
It was my sister's wedding recently and the whole week of festivities made me ponder about the significance of these rituals.. Some I knew and others I had to find out.. Marriages are elaborate affairs for us and we follow the usual Hindu marriage rites like those of Pheras and Kanyadan. Other merry-making rituals like Ladies Sangeet and Juta Chupai (which by the way, got immense popularity after Hum Aapke Hain Kaun) also abound :)
Once the match has been decided between a boy and a girl, the galore of ceremonies begins. A date is fixed for the 'Roka' ceremony which is sort of a formal announcement that the match has been finalized. An auspicious time is fixed by a pundit ji and the families of both sides, assemble at the girl's house or at some neutral venue. Roka signifies that the boy and the girl are affianced to each other and an auspicious day for the marriage is generally fixed after the ceremony is over.
After Roka, the next important ceremony is called 'Shagan' which is the confirmation of the Engagement. The idea is to have all the relatives of both the sides who could not attend the Roka ceremony present at the same place so that they can interact with each other. Shagan generally takes place at the boy's house or as nowadays at some venue outside.
On this occasion, the girl's family applies tikka or tilak on the boy's forehead and shower him with gifts and blessings. The groom's family similarly returns the favor by gifting the bride-to-be's family members especially the brothers.
Shagan has the 'Sangeet' following close on its heel. This is one enviable feature of Punjabi wedding that has all the relatives and friends of the family rejoicing and joining to add color to the occasion.
All are invited in these evenings of jubilation, irrespective of age and gender. But the songs and dances typically center around the to be bride. The lyrics describe the ordeals of the newly married girl at her 'Sasural'. Also hot on the sangeet program are the ballads of love by Waris Shah.
Next significant ceremony is the 'Chooda' or the bangles' ceremony. The girl's maternal uncle (Mama) gifs the wedding dress to the bride and adorn her wrists with red and white bangles. On these bangles are tied the 'Kalira' - light ornaments of beaten silver and gold, which makes it impossible for the bride to perform any household task, as the kaliras get in the way. After the Chooda ceremony, Mehndi (Henna) is applied on the girl's hands and feet and it is customary that the boy's family sends the Mehndi.
All are invited in these evenings of jubilation, irrespective of age and gender. But the songs and dances typically center around the to be bride. The lyrics describe the ordeals of the newly married girl at her 'Sasural'. Also hot on the sangeet program are the ballads of love by Waris Shah.
Next significant ceremony is the 'Chooda' or the bangles' ceremony. The girl's maternal uncle (Mama) gifs the wedding dress to the bride and adorn her wrists with red and white bangles. On these bangles are tied the 'Kalira' - light ornaments of beaten silver and gold, which makes it impossible for the bride to perform any household task, as the kaliras get in the way. After the Chooda ceremony, Mehndi (Henna) is applied on the girl's hands and feet and it is customary that the boy's family sends the Mehndi.
And now, the stage is (literally) set for the D Day :)
On the wedding day, the bride-to-be is applied Vatna (mixture of turmeric powder and mustard oil). Friends and relatives also put vatna to each other's bodies in fun and frivolity. The Uptan (application) is believed to purify the girl. The boy at his place is also applied a mixture of turmeric and oil by his sisters and bhabhis.
The groom comes riding a mare with his friends and relatives accompanying him in a procession called the Baraat. The Ladkewale or boy's family reach the bride's house or the wedding venue amidst a lot of gaiety and excitement performing Bhangra dances all the way :)
Once the procession arrives at the venue, the sisters of the bride-to-be demand gifts from the groom in order to let him and his family pass! There's a lot of fun and frolic associated with this ceremony as well where the groom-to-be has to cough up some nice amount in order to bribe his sisters-in-law to let him enter the Pandal.
The time for the 'Phere' or the actual wedding comes late in the evening. On this occasion, the boy and the girl are made to sit in front of the Sacred Fire. The groom's sister ties the bride's sari to the boy's pagdi (turban).
The bride's Chunni has at one of its end a small knot containing meva, chuara, mishri, badam and silver coin. The couple takes seven vows towards each other and circum-ambulates the Holy fire with each vow.
Towards the end of the ceremony, the groom ties a necklace of black beads (Mangalsutra) around the neck of the bride and fills her hair-parting with red vermilion (Sindoor). This marks the culmination of the Vedic ceremony and the officiating priest then declares them man and wife.
At the time of phere, groom's sister-in-laws hide away his shoes in a ritual called 'Joota Chhupai'. They ask the boy for money in exchange for the shoes and the groom's side has to pay up to take the bride home ;o)
'Doli' is the last of all the ceremonies. It marks the farewell to the bride. So, the lights stand glimmering as the crying relatives of the daughter of the house goes on to her new home.
Custom has it that just at the time of departure of the doli, the bride is supposed to hit with her kaliras one of the brother or sister who stand bidding tearful farewell to her. The one to be so hit is supposed to get wedded next. The brothers of the bride generally accompany their sister to her new home to make sure she is welcomed well and does not feel lonely in the new place.
For the final ceremony called 'Pag-phera', the bride returns to her paternal home with her husband next day. This is a chance for the bride's family to get to know their groom well and make their daughter more comfortable. The couple is then given sweets and gifts.
All in all it is a happy and joyous affair and a chance for all the family members to get together. I thoroughly enjoyed the wedding despite all the work that goes into organizing one!! And a special thanx to alllll my super friends without whose help it wouldn't have been possible to run such a smooth show! U all guys rock :o)
Hope to see the weddings of all of you soon too ;o)
