The 'Quarter Life' crisis!

There comes a time in life when we start thinking about life and its meaning..

You stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like..

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now!

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones..

What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you!

You look at your job and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are changing you job and realize that you would have to start at the bottom and that scares you!

Your opinions have gotten stronger.. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't..

One minute,you are insecure and then the next, pretty confident.. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward..

You get heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better!!

Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too(!) and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you are not a bad person.

You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority.. You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

Welcome to the Quarter-life Crisis! We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Sharing this with all my twenty-something friends.. Maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion :o)

Goodbye NM

Hey all i m finally an MBA!! The feeling is still to sink in though and I am trying to get adjusted to NOT getting up thinking which class I missed going to today ;o)

As an anodyne for the trauma of our symbolic rebirth into this world, there were a host of events at the end of our college life. We had 'Euphoria' which had plays screened for us, rock show by Indigo nation, 'Antakshri' and Marketing events, and of course the inevitable Farewell party :)

The party was at Enigma, the disc inside J. W. Mariott and we had the time of our life (having got drunk earlier!).. clicked a lot of pics with all the old buddies and one thing that I realized was that 'The class is really not a class!' (as Eric Segal said quite prophetically in his epic novel).

I mean we are not a brotherhood, or anything cohesive for that matter. In fact for most of my class mates, the time we spent here was a kind of truce, a cease-fire in the war for fame and power and in a few more days, the guns come out again. We would probably never meet as a class again. This was the beginning of the end.

And at the farewell, we met just once more to say our goodbyes. May all the wonderful people I met here have a great future ahead.. and for the 'less' wonderful ones, may you get the maturity and wisdom to understand whats right and whats not in ur lives ahead. 

However, I got the opportunity to meet some really nice people and forge deep bonds with them and I'm grateful to God for having given all these people and experiences to me :)
Keep rocking guyzz!

A Punjabi Wedding!

Punjabis are known all over India as large-hearted cheerful people who live their life joyously and vigorously. We people believe in enjoying every single moment of our lives. No doubt then that our marriage ceremonies are one big carnival of gaiety and jubilation :)

It was my sister's wedding recently and the whole week of festivities made me ponder about the significance of these rituals.. Some I knew and others I had to find out.. Marriages are elaborate affairs for us and we follow the usual Hindu marriage rites like those of Pheras and Kanyadan. Other merry-making rituals like Ladies Sangeet and Juta Chupai (which by the way, got immense popularity after Hum Aapke Hain Kaun) also abound :)

Once the match has been decided between a boy and a girl, the galore of ceremonies begins. A date is fixed for the 'Roka' ceremony which is sort of a formal announcement that the match has been finalized. An auspicious time is fixed by a pundit ji and the families of both sides, assemble at the girl's house or at some neutral venue. Roka signifies that the boy and the girl are affianced to each other and an auspicious day for the marriage is generally fixed after the ceremony is over.

After Roka, the next important ceremony is called 'Shagan' which is the confirmation of the Engagement. The idea is to have all the relatives of both the sides who could not attend the Roka ceremony present at the same place so that they can interact with each other. Shagan generally takes place at the boy's house or as nowadays at some venue outside.

On this occasion, the girl's family applies tikka or tilak on the boy's forehead and shower him with gifts and blessings. The groom's family similarly returns the favor by gifting the bride-to-be's family members especially the brothers.

Shagan has the 'Sangeet' following close on its heel. This is one enviable feature of Punjabi wedding that has all the relatives and friends of the family rejoicing and joining to add color to the occasion.

All are invited in these evenings of jubilation, irrespective of age and gender. But the songs and dances typically center around the to be bride. The lyrics describe the ordeals of the newly married girl at her 'Sasural'. Also hot on the sangeet program are the ballads of love by Waris Shah.

Next significant ceremony is the 'Chooda' or the bangles' ceremony. The girl's maternal uncle (Mama) gifs the wedding dress to the bride and adorn her wrists with red and white bangles. On these bangles are tied the 'Kalira' - light ornaments of beaten silver and gold, which makes it impossible for the bride to perform any household task, as the kaliras get in the way. After the Chooda ceremony, Mehndi (Henna) is applied on the girl's hands and feet and it is customary that the boy's family sends the Mehndi.

And now, the stage is (literally) set for the D Day :)

On the wedding day, the bride-to-be is applied Vatna (mixture of turmeric powder and mustard oil). Friends and relatives also put vatna to each other's bodies in fun and frivolity. The Uptan (application) is believed to purify the girl. The boy at his place is also applied a mixture of turmeric and oil by his sisters and bhabhis.

The groom comes riding a mare with his friends and relatives accompanying him in a procession called the Baraat. The Ladkewale or boy's family reach the bride's house or the wedding venue amidst a lot of gaiety and excitement performing Bhangra dances all the way :) 

Once the procession arrives at the venue, the sisters of the bride-to-be demand gifts from the groom in order to let him and his family pass! There's a lot of fun and frolic associated with this ceremony as well where the groom-to-be has to cough up some nice amount in order to bribe his sisters-in-law to let him enter the Pandal.

When the groom is seated, the bride arrives on the dias and they exchange garlands to mark the first step in the marriage ceremony. This is the 'Jaimala' ceremony. Here too, both sides try to outscore the other and amongst a lot of masti, make it difficult for the other party to complete the ceremony :P

The time for the 'Phere' or the actual wedding comes late in the evening. On this occasion, the boy and the girl are made to sit in front of the Sacred Fire. The groom's sister ties the bride's sari to the boy's pagdi (turban).

The bride's Chunni has at one of its end a small knot containing meva, chuara, mishri, badam and silver coin. The couple takes seven vows towards each other and circum-ambulates the Holy fire with each vow.

Towards the end of the ceremony, the groom ties a necklace of black beads (Mangalsutra) around the neck of the bride and fills her hair-parting with red vermilion (Sindoor). This marks the culmination of the Vedic ceremony and the officiating priest then declares them man and wife.

At the time of phere, groom's sister-in-laws hide away his shoes in a ritual called 'Joota Chhupai'. They ask the boy for money in exchange for the shoes and the groom's side has to pay up to take the bride home ;o)

'Doli' is the last of all the ceremonies. It marks the farewell to the bride. So, the lights stand glimmering as the crying relatives of the daughter of the house goes on to her new home.

Custom has it that just at the time of departure of the doli, the bride is supposed to hit with her kaliras one of the brother or sister who stand bidding tearful farewell to her. The one to be so hit is supposed to get wedded next. The brothers of the bride generally accompany their sister to her new home to make sure she is welcomed well and does not feel lonely in the new place.

For the final ceremony called 'Pag-phera', the bride returns to her paternal home with her husband next day. This is a chance for the bride's family to get to know their groom well and make their daughter more comfortable. The couple is then given sweets and gifts.

All in all it is a happy and joyous affair and a chance for all the family members to get together. I thoroughly enjoyed the wedding despite all the work that goes into organizing one!! And a special thanx to alllll my super friends without whose help it wouldn't have been possible to run such a smooth show! U all guys rock :o)

Hope to see the weddings of all of you soon too ;o)

Nostalgia for Nair

I wish that I could turn back time
to those days of yore and glee,
and wander down those hallowed halls,

together, you and me.

How sweet it would be to once again
see all your faces there,
and skip along the corridors
where youth was free of care.

I'd love to feel the ambiance
of days that are no more,
where tender hopes were plentiful
and dreams were meant to soar.

I'd like to see your cheerful smiles
that brightened like the sun,
and feel the rush of eagerness
for journeys just begun.

But oh, alas, those days are gone;I can't go back to see
those teen-aged classmates of mine,
except in memory.

How long the road has wound since then,
how far I've had to roam,
but the glorious days I shared with you
will always whisper home.

Perhaps the roads you've taken too,
have led both far and near,
but I suspect that in your hearts
those nostalgic days are dear.

So take my hand and we will ride
the winds of memory
back to the time when we were young
and full of joy and glee.

-Ruth Gilis

Was in my alma mater T.N. Medical College today to attend the convocation of the last junior batch in college I know.. after this batch i am officially a 'stranger' in the college ;) Seeing the ecstatic faces of all the people present there made me nostalgic and brought me back to our own times at Nair..

We joined Nair not knowing what lay in store for us.. we entered its hallowed halls with fear in our heart, anxiety in our minds and expectation in our eyes.. some had come here after traveling a thousand miles and some just a few kilometers.. yet, as Erich Segal says in 'The Class', we all knew that we were merely at the beginning of the greatest journey of our life..

As we discovered the joys of staying away from home (read night-outs, bunking classes, trips to lonavala, painting the town red etc.) over the years we also realized the true value of home (read good home-cooked food, not having to wash own clothes, getting up by mom's cajoling and not a shrill alarm clock etc.!!)

 

In more ways than one, our stay at Nair converted us into men and women of caliber and strength.. it made doctors out of us laymen and gave us the direction in life we were to follow.

While roaming around the campus, I remembered all the places where we used to spend time together.. the old canteen where we used to invariably be the rowdiest table, the place near the CT scan building which used to be so quiet before they shifted the canteen there(!), the OPD steps where they have now developed a small garden..

The library and the L-shaped corridor in front of it where we just used to sprawl and pretend to study the whole day, fifth floor platform near the steps, the formalin-reeking anatomy dissection hall, the practical labs, the place near nurses quarters where we used to sit and chat for hours together and later during internship, the wards and labs which were our eternal haunts..

When we held our oaths on the convocation day, it was as if we held the world in our hands!! It was the day of accomplishment, a day of feeling proud, a day for making our parents proud.. Our entire life stretched in front of us and we could do with it as we pleased.. God! how naive we were..

As I saw the same gamut of emotions reflected in the eyes of our juniors, my heart was filled with some fond remembrances and some bittersweet memories.. like us, they were eager to leave the cozy, amniotic safety of Nair and dive into the shark-infested waters of the real world..

And as they take the plunge, I wish life is generous to them and gives them many more fond memories to cherish in the coming years, as it has so graciously given to all of us.. we may have not been brought up in the labyrinths of Nair but it is this place which made us who we are today and shaped our futures for us..

And even though i could never fathom the meaning or translation of this cryptic phrase, I have to end this post by saying out loud.. Yalakapad narakapad haiyo haiyo :)

Examzzz suck!

Its been a while since i penned down something... didn't really get time coz of the examz that never seem to end here at NMIMS!! Have been cursing myself since the day i joined here because of the stupid trimester system... almost reminds me of the hectic schedule in medical school!!

The only difference is that the stress level is not that high here and this i realized when i spent the last night reading Brisinger(the third part of Eragon series) and still did reasonably well in the exam... guess the rigorous medical training makes all this feel a lil easier than what we were used to... plus my room mate kept telling me that i shouldn't complain as i had topped in the previous trimester ;) Ha ha ab in engineering walon ko kaun bataye MBBS ki dard bhari kahaniyan... Anyways m glad they'll b getting over soon and then we'll b left with just one more trim to go thru!!

Sign-up Campaign for F.A.T.E.

Yesterday was the Sign-up campaign for F.A.T.E. in the University for the official launch of our society, and boy did we receive an overwhelming response!!

What started as a project for IMC class, turned out into a much bigger thing.. After a lot of deliberations over what project we should do, the unanimous decision was to start a campaign against terrorism.. the recent attack on Mumbai had shaken us all and we thought it was a great opportunity to launch something which could make a difference to the society and which we could take forward even after the project was over..

After the initial hiccups we faced in getting our leaflets and posters published, we finally set up the desk in quadrangle at the time of afternoon break. Not a moment had passed when we had our first signatory ready.. the chap was highly motivated and I have to thank him personally for further motivating his friends and classmates to come and sign up for the society!

Thanx to the teaser mails I had been sending for the past two days plus the posters we had been posting in the college campus, there were quite a lot of people who were aware of F.A.T.E. which, by the way, was a pleasant surprise for us :) we had decided to use the colors of the Indian flag for taking thumb impressions of the people and it turned out to be a huge hit!

The sheets for signing up were full of saffron and green and so were the hands of people in the University ;) At the last count we have received at least 400 sign ups and the number of people joining the online community is also steadily growing..

Finally today we had a human chain which was planned by the SVKM management (after a lot of cajoling by the F.A.T.E. team).. all colleges under the Mandal came together to form a human chain defying the bomb scare in the city.. With this, we have taken our first baby step and we hope to take more steps in the right direction..

The purpose of F.A.T.E. is to make the youth think about what they can do for improving the state of affairs in the country.. After all our FATE is in our hands..

Gateway Peace March

As I came back from the gathering at Taj last night, I was wondering whether Mumbai will ever be the same again.. what was on display there was the anger of the people against the establishment which failed to take the necessary steps to safeguard the lives of its subjects as also a deep hatred and anger towards the arch enemy Pakistan... it was the gathering of all Mumbaikars and Indians irrespective of caste, color, religion, region, bank balance and fame..

As I walked amongst the millions gathered there, rubbing shoulders with the celebrities and the bourgeois alike, i realized that this attack has changed the way people think in the city.. we are no more eager to show our resilience and famed 'Mumbai spirit' and bounce back each time the city is hijacked by terrorists with twisted agendas.. this time Mumbai means business!

There were millionaires walking besides paupers and filmstars walking besides school children.. never before have I seen Mumbai so resilient and willing to be on the offensive for once!

There were slogans against politicians and Pakistan alike and people were burning effigies of Vilasrao Deshmukh, Raj 'rat' Thackeray and Shivraj Patil.. there were candles lit in the memory of the brave soldiers who saved our city from a terrible fate.. there were street plays motivating people to wake up and raise their voice against the injustices meted out to them..

As I got a glimpse of Mumbai's beloved Taj Mahal Hotel, it was heart-breaking.. there are so many memories attached with this edifice that it is difficult to even try to put them into words.. I realized how lucky we were that the terrorists did not attack more than one city at one time!

And when I joined the line walking towards the exit, I shook hands with the security personnel thanking them for their bravery and support to the nation.. indeed the best moment in the day came when the crowd gathered there, celebrities and all, clapped when a security van carrying police personnel came inside.. these are our real heroes and the nation salutes their bravery and courage.. This event was a salute to the spirit of Mumbai..

Jai Hind!

Mumbai Under Fire

It has happened again... the hand of terror has hit Mumbai with such power and force that the city is still reeling from its effects.. more than 125 are dead and 300 injured, there have been blasts at Ville Parle, Hilton towers, Taj hotel and even Cama & GT Hospitals(!!).. two taxis have been blown to smithereens, there is firing still going on at CST and Taj and terrorists are throwing grenades out of a five star hotel while holding 40 hostages inside!!

I am numbed into silence and cant seem to get myself out of this trance like state... dont feel like talking to anyone, just wanna sit and cry... and vent out my anger for these dastardly acts of terror... so many dead, so many injured... what action or motive justifies this killing of innocent people??? which god gives these people the sanction to take the lives of innocent men and women?? does the agony and trauma of the common man not mean anything??

How does anyone do this with a true conscience?? how does one wrong correct another wrong??? there are so many questions but no one to answer them.. in fact there are no answers... and while commandos risk their lives trying to flush out the terrorists out of Oberoi hotel and police and politicians start the damage control measures, people die and Mumbai burns..

Phoenix of My return

Just come back from a fantabulous trip at home!! Had almost forgotten what it feels to be taken care of and pampered by your loved ones... meeting old friends and family brings out so many old memories stashed away in some remote corners of the mind!! 

And when you talk about all the things you used to do in those 'Golden Days' it feels as if you have crossed a sea of eternity to go back to where you used to be.. but still somethings change.. and change for ever.. and even if all that you remember may have remained as it is, the fact is that change has already taken place inside you..

I feel I can catch this feeling,
But can not grasp it firm,
It’s something I might lose easily,
And toil forever to earn,

A nameless something, a silence;
I hear but can not learn,
A smoldering desire to look back,
To reach a moment, to burn..

When this sun goes scarlet,
It’s the blood of my days it burns,
When awake I am dreaming;
in dreams, realities churn,

The passing of time is hesitant,
Each moment crawling to yearn,
My naked soul I cover,
With threads of my own urn..

The pieces of sky I hold now,
I wish to imbibe and learn,

This waiting forever is eternal,
That’s all I ever earn,

The story does not end here,

This moment is yet to burn,

But each breath that I take,

Is a phoenix for my return!
...
..
.

Straight into the Shining Sun

Was listening to Pink Floyd last night and some lyrics really touched my heart.. 

Where were you when I was burned and broken 

While the days slipped by from my window watching 

Where were you when I was hurt and helpless 

Because the things you say and the things you do surround me 

While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words 

Dying to believe in what you heard I was staring straight into the shining sun.. 

Lost in thought and lost in time 

While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted 

Outside the rain fell dark and slow 

While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime 

I knew the moment had arrived 

For killing the past and coming back to life.. 

I took a heavenly ride through our silence 

I knew the waiting had begun 

And headed straight.. into the shining sun..

No need to say anything else right? There are some days u feel so lonely.. Even words wont come to keep u company...

Last Lear and Mustard Sauce..

O, how much more doth beauty beauteous seem

By that sweet ornament which truth doth give!

The rose looks fair, but fairer we it deem

For that sweet odour which doth in it live.

But, for their virtue only is their show,

They live unwoo'd and unrespected fade,

Die to themselves. Sweet roses do not so;

Of their sweet deaths are sweetest odours made:

And so of you, beauteous and lovely youth,

When that shall fade, my verse distills your truth..

- Shakespeare, Sonnet 54

People say beauty is ephemeral.. but it need not be so.. u can catch a glimpse of it and keep it forever stored in your memory to relive it day after day.. every day for ur whole life.. u can add to the memories and increase your treasure every moment of your life..

One may find beauty in unexpected places, as I found out today.. the breathtaking view of the monsoon sky and the joy of dancing in the first rain.. I saw it in the dark visage of a fisher-woman with a careless flower tossed in her hair.. it was there in the words of Ashok C. Banker's Ramayana that I read later in the day.. i encountered it again in the innocent eyes of my best friend's baby.. and it was there in the happiness on the face of another friend whom I met after ages..

I found beauty in the fragrance of mustard sauce that lingered on my fingers hours after I had had lunch.. it was there in the impossibly brilliant portrayal by Amitabh Bachhan in 'The Last Lear' and it was there in the kohl-lined lotus eyes of Shefali Shah and in the the anklets adorning her feet..

There are so many such moments which have stayed with me over the years.. the broad smile of a lover when u make a surprise visit.. the first stolen kiss with all its anxiety and excitement.. the silent tears shed while separating from a loved one..

The cold winter day spent with a good book tucked under a quilt.. the chana jor garam and bhutta enjoyed while seeing the sun go down in the Arabian Sea.. and many many more.. I intend to hold on to all these for ever.. and remember them forever.. for they are a source of beauty in my world.. and like the bard said, I'll be 'Painting my age with the beauty of thy days'..

Mumbaicha Assal Raja!

'Mumbai conquers fear and rain for Ganpati' said the TOI Headline.. 'Fear Factor fails to dampen Mumbai's spirits' another said.. It seemed like Mumbai was running on the power of faith!

Indeed it was a day of expressing faith..

Faith in God, faith in the system, and faith in the ultimate victory of good over evil.. after all it was just yesterday that Delhi was rocked by 6 powerful blasts killing 24 and injuring 97 innocents!

Mumbai had been warned - it was a sunday and the day of Ganpati Visarjan where lakhs of people gather on the beaches - the opportunities were just right for terrorists to strike! But Mumbai kept its faith in Ganpati and soldiered on. Bracing against the heavy rains and hoping against hope that nothing would happen in the city today, people ventured out of their homes to bid adieu to their beloved Ganpati.

 

Anant Chaturdashi is the last day of the Hindu festival of Ganeshotsav. The festival actually started on the 3rd of this month which was the Ganesh Chaturthi. According to beliefs, Ganpati was born on this day and on Chaturthi, people welcome the Lord into their homes and hearts while the immersion of idols takes place on 1st, 3rd, 5th, 7th or 11th day.

The immersion is a way of saying goodbye to the Lord who descends down on earth from Ganesh Lok to partake in the festivities. We invoke Him and He willingly comes and stays with us but when the time for his return comes, He returns to His abode. Earlier, the idols used to be carried in palanquins but now Ganesha is taken in beautifully decorated trucks and floats. The smaller ones are taken in hand carts or are placed on the backseats of cars.

Large processions of devotees accompanied with live bands and drum beats sing and dance, sprinkling Gulal and amidst fireworks proceed with Him to the water front. I particularly remember the Mahalakshmi temple float from my earlier days in Mumbai and the way me and my friends from Nair hostel used to rush to join the parade and immerse ourselves in that awesome trance music!! Traffic is thick with large 'floats' packed with dancing men and women and the huge Plaster of Paris idols depicting Ganesh in a hundred poses..

This is marked by the ritual of immersion which is not without its share of tears! As I was walking on the beach watching different people bidding their farewells to their beloved god, I saw a lady from a nearby jhopdi crying when she let go of the Ganpati idol her famliy had brought for visarjan.. it was almost as if she was saying her goodbyes to a cherished family member..

“Ganapati Bappa Morya, Pudhchya Varshi Laukarya” (O Lord Ganesh, return quickly the following year) chanting this, the followers bid Him farewell. Lord Ganesh returns to His abode taking away all the unhappiness, obstacles and troubles of His devotees, promising to return again the next year and He sure did relieve us of a tense day. This ten day festival can be best understood only by experiencing it first hand.. the sights, sounds, and sheer madness of the final day of Ganesh Chathurthi is too difficult to capture through pictures or describe through words..

 

 

 

One can see the spirit of Mumbai come alive in this grandest of all festivals! 

There are people volunteering with the police working to prevent any disasters from happening, there were boy scouts lining the roads at Versova maintaining the traffic.. people had put stalls outside their societies to serve water and 'vada-pav' to devotees thronging the beach.. at Byculla, the procession of Lalbagcha Raja was greeted with a huge floral garland presented by the Muslim community there who distribute sweets every year to the Hindus in the procession..

I saw a Bihari family bring their small Ganesha sitting in the lap of his father Shiva as a child in the lap of his own father looked on.. there was a Punjabi society and a Sikh family with Ganeshas of their own.. it felt good to see so much harmony, love and devotion all around.. it truly was a beautiful experience and an example of Mumbai's resilience and determination to fight against all efforts to polarise it in the name of religion, region, caste and language! 

Move-over ye politicians with vested interests, Mumbai is tougher than u think and more united than you want to accept.. and for all Mumbaikars, Ganpati Bappa is and will always remain the Assal Raja of Mumbai :)

Ganpati Bappa Morya Pudhcya Varshi Lavkarya!

Yoohoo monsoons!

Hey people whatcha doing..

I have been totally utilising whatever free time i get!! Went to Karnala yesterday :)

Its a beautiful place for trekking especially in the monsoons.. As you make your way through lush green jungle, you will hear the peacocks crying to the clouds or encounter the numerous crabs inhabiting the trail..

From scenic walks with spectacular views of the valleys below to the challenges of the long trail and reaching the fort at the top, Karnala is one of the coolest hiking destinations. Plus the awesome rains added to the experience, making the whole track more slippery!!

Trekking is one of the best ways to stay fit plus you get a chance to spend some quality time together with Mother Nature which provides an antidote to mental stress :) So hope you all are sufficiently inspired to go out and take advantage of the roaring monsoons before its too late!!